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Cruel, Cruel Summer.

by Laura Duncan

Remember childhood summers? Swimming. Sunburns. Scabs. That's all over now. The bliss of lemonade and endless days has been eclipsed by blinding heat and energy bills. If you're anything like me, one of the few things you have to look forward to now is that glass of expertly-curated wine from your favorite humorous retail website. And because we personally understand the sweet sanctity of a summer sip, we know how important it is to prevent the sky's big stupid nuclear ball from destroying your wine's molecular structure.

Commence Summer Shipping!

Your options are thus:
  • $8 standard summer shipping per order: We're adding a few bucks on to the usual $5 shipping charge, and adding some time into the process. Shipping orders to most of the country in protective refrigerated trucks isn't easy or cheap, or fast for that matter, but it'll be worth it to keep your wine from turning into soup.
  • $10 "two-day" shipping per item: If your time is more valuable than your money, you can pay $10 per item for two-day shipping. By "two-day", we mean two days transit from when your order is shipped, which could generally take up to five days from when you place the order. For instance, we won't ship two-day orders on Thursdays or Fridays. Weekends sitting in a carrier warehouse is just no fun for a wine package. The gist of it is: you should get your "two-day" order within a week from when you place it.

If that section seems familiar, it's because I lifted it from the last summer shipping blog post with the updated pricing. Many of you are seasoned vino veterans and you know how all this works.

There are mundane logistical details behind the pricing. Fridges on wheels. Consolidation. Hubs. Styrofoam. It's blindingly dull, maddeningly complex, and irritatingly important.

When all's said and done, your wine will spend no more than 2 days in the FedEx ground system. The majority of its journey will take place in a temperature-controlled environment, which is certainly more than could be said of summer road trips in the family van.

So slather on some sun goo, throw on those shades, and buy without trepidation. We can't recapture the unbridled joy of your youthful summers, but we'll try to make sure your wine doesn't turn into gravy. That's how gravy is made, right?