If it wasn't for potluck, I'd have no luck at all.
So you say you can't cook but you still want to get in on all the free grub your friends are bringing to their fancy dinner party? No problem.
After all, being a horrible cook is nothing to be ashamed of. Reheating soup, boiling noodles, pouring milk on cereal? That's the kind of stuff that's best left to the David Changs and Swedish Chefs of the world.
But you can't just invite yourself over to your friend's house for dinner with only a store-bought loaf of bread and not expect to make a few folks frustrated when you dive in for thirds on the Beef Wellington. And don't even think you can help yourself to the dessert trifle after bringing in a bag of salad.
So what's a catastrophic cook like you to do? Simple! The next time someone mentions it, just say "A dinner party? Sounds great! I'll bring the wine." But don't put more emphasis on that last part. I just did that to point out the important bit. Saying it all bold and stuff might get you uninvited real quick.
See, wine is something everyone likes to have on hand when they're entertaining company. By offering to bring a bottle of, say, 2009 Tasi California Merlot from this Tasi Merlot Case we're conveniently selling today, you're letting the host know that you're not just in it for the au gratin potatoes. You're sharing its supple plum and black cherry flavors for comradery, good times, AND au gratin potatoes. Plus, with twelve bottles at your disposal, you're guaranteed a nice home-cooked meal every once in a while to help supplement your awful diet of fast food and microwave burritos.
The last thing any of your friends wants to find out is how you died in a fire trying to make toast to bring to their little get-together. Make it easy on yourself, bring some wine, and offer to take home any leftovers that might be available, and you'll be well-fed for days to come.
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