We knew a Crystal Basin once. But that's a story for another time ...
2012 was one of the rarest and most obscure years in the history of mankind. You probably don't even remember what happened because it was so long ago, and you were kind of busy. Here's a recap:
- Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee, marking 60 years of her operating as the Commonwealth equivalent of Mr. Red from the Cincinnati Reds.
- Lonesome George, a Pinta Island Tortoise, died. He was the last of his species. Bummer!
- Felix Baumgartner demonstrated his love for Red Bull by falling from space.
- Scientists created the first bionic melon.
- Cake became an official food group.
- An historic summit saw the first step in trade agreements between rats and squirrels.
- Every Canadian child born in June was named "Orange."
- Kansas seceded from the United States. When pressed by federal administrators for explanation, the governor said, "You guys are so lame."
- Black market hat trafficking reached an alarming high. Musicians performed in April to raise awareness about the issue with their TV special "Hat Aid."
- A new superbug emerged as the latest health threat. "Clam blindness" continues to plague populations across the globe.