In Enemy Territory
Dropping the F-Bomb has never tasted so good.
“Striker, do you copy? Turn around and head back immediately, Striker.”
Negative, Captain. I’m going in.
“Striker, are you mad? You’re all we’ve got left up there. It’d be suicide to try to do this on your own.”
Sorry, captain. But when I take on a mission, I finish it.
“What are you talking about?”
To deliver the big one, captain. Remember? The F-Bomb? I’m flying right over the enemy base and I’m dropping it! Wahoo!
“Striker, I’ve got to tell you something: that’s just a bottle of 2011 Riesling.”
What?
“The Woot Cellars F-Bomb. It’s wine that’s vinted and bottled by Three Wine Company.”
But, captain, you said…
“I know, I know. But I lied to you. I didn’t want you to feel left out. But I gave the actual big one to Larry.”
Larry?! Why does Larry get all the cool stuff?
“Because he’s the best pilot.”
Aw, man!
“Well, hey. Hold on now. That’s not to say the F-Bomb isn’t special. It is a delicious wine with floral notes of orange blossom, honeysuckle, and zest. Say, why not bring that back and we’ll drink it together? Heck, we could eat that French bread I gave you while we’re at it.”
French bread? I don’t have any French bread up here.
“Well, actually… you know those things I said were ‘Emergency Missiles’?”
No way!
"Flower Bomber" F-Bomb 2011 Riesling, Santa Barbara County 5-Pack
Dominant floral aromatics, with orange blossom taking the lead and a touch of wet stone. On the palate, the wine has sweet notes of peach and nectarine and a subtle layer of citrus peel. The wine has a nice acidity, and a creamy mouthfeel.
- Santa Barbara County
- Alcohol: 13.6%
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pH: 3.4
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T.A.: 0.66 g/100ml
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R.S.: 26.2 g/L
- Vinted and Bottled by Three Wine Company
Once disdained as “Die Kaiserbluten” ("The Kaiser’s Blossom’s"), the aromatic old Riesling got a complete retooling in California, at the capable hands of a few petal-pushing yankee pioneers. When this old-world grape met with a little American – style razzle-dazzle, the result was one potent payload of flower power—the “F-Bomb.”
Not just another Weisser Heunisch in a pointy PickelHaube, the F-Bomb signaled that the Teutonic reign of terroir was about to go the way of the moustache spoon. Witnesses to its arrival at the front, awed at the American-made gullet-buster’s explosive floral armament of orange blossom, honeysuckle and zest, were at a total loss for words.
Well—ALMOST total. One onlooker is reported to have articulated his astonishment this way: “Ffffff…”
Rules and restrictions:
- Wine sold by winery
- You must be 21 or older to order
- Whoever receives the package must be 21 or older
- If you're drunk when the package shows up, you will not be allowed to receive it
- Wine cannot be delivered to a P.O. Box
- We highly recommend you use a business address as your shipping address
Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:
- Arizona
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If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at ShipCompliantBlog.com, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through FreeTheGrapes.org. Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.
