Three Simple Questions

It’s a pop quiz, y’all! Except it’s not about pop. It is about something delicious that you drink, though! OK, no more hints.

01. PORTER-BASS IS:

a. what my kid brother used to say before he could pronounce “quarterback.” He used to be so cute! No anymore, of course. He’s grotesque now. It runs in the family.

b. the television production company behind some of the least successful children’s holiday specials of the 1960s and ‘70s, like “Ronni the Roller-Derby Elf,” “Smiley O’Reilley’s Peculiar Pentecost,” and their disturbing trilogy of Rudolph knock-offs featuring other, less cute bioluminescent reindeer mutations.

c. something that has to do with beer, probably

d. a winery renowned for balanced, elegant wines crafted in the vineyard by painstakingly attentive farmers who tend to their ripening fruit like overbearing Park Slope moms, obsessively monitoring development, reacting to every nuance of the changing weather, and maintaining such an intense focus on their perfect, precious grapes that you basically can’t even talk to them about anything else.

e. all of the above, somehow

02. ACCORDINGLY, PORTER-BASS TASTES LIKE:

a. familial disappointment

b. a stale cache of 35-year-old Dolly Madison Zingers

c. beer, I guess

d. well, if we’re talking about the 2008 Heintz Vineyard Chardonnay, a rich, mouth-filling flavorgasm of apricot, earth, and grapefruit with a hint of coconut and vanilla.

e. all the above, in a nauseating mixture

03. I WANT

a. to return to the golden halcyon days of my youth, before my dreams shriveled and died like slugs on a sunny patch of sidewalk

b. to be a real Christmas tree ornament one day, even if I am just a car air freshener

c. beer, duh

d. a four-pack of this exquisite Chardonnay

e. all of the above

SCORING YOUR ANSWERS: Give yourself three points for each answer d you selected. Congrats, normals! You should have nine points! For every other answer you picked, draw an extra eyeball on your face in permanent marker, so the rest of us have a clear visual signal that you are some kind of psychotic weirdo, and we can move to a different subway car at the next stop. Cheers!

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Features

2008 Porter-Bass Heintz Vineyard Chardonnay, Russian River Valley

  • Alcohol: 14.5%
  • Cases produce: 140

Earth, apricot and grapefruit are prominent on the palate. This wine fills the mouth with richness. There is a hint of coconut and vanilla with enough underlying minerality to keep the wine fresh.

 

Specs

2008 Porter-Bass Heintz Vineyard Chardonnay, Russian River Valley

Winery Details

Porter-Bass

Owners:
Luke Bass
Location:
Guerneville, CA
At Porter-Bass balanced and elegant wines are made in the vineyard. To achieve this balance an understanding of the land, climate and vines is crucial. Porter- Bass Vineyard is blessed with a cool climate that allows the grapes to grow and mature in an even manner. Careful farming helps to keep the vines healthy and balanced. By anticipating upcoming weather patterns, adjustments can be made to compensate for extreme conditions. Examples would be; if there is a heat wave approaching we would water to avoid raisining of the fruit and we adjust the amount of crop on the vines during the season so that we have the right amount of fruit to assure even ripening.
 
In the winemaking the human influence is limited as much as possible. When the grapes arrive at the winery they ferment with indigenous yeasts. This will impart a greater sense of place in the wine. In the red wines the fruit is not crushed, only the stems are removed, leaving the whole berries. This gives a slower start to the fermentation and results in a greater expression of fresh berry fruits. The goal is to preserve the fresh, fruit flavors in the wine. As the wine ages it gains complexity but does not suffer from the premature aging that comes with over-ripe fruit. Gentle handling of the wine, using gravity flow, and minimizing the use of machines in production helps to preserve the vitality of the wine. The amount of new oak is limited to less than 40 percent. We use only carefully selected French oak in the production of our wines. The finer tannin structure of French Oak integrates better with our wines than does American Oak. The wine is bottled unfined and unfiltered.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 0.116s
First Sucker:
limpkin101
Last Wooter to Woot:
qopperty

Purchaser Experience

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Purchaser Seniority

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  • 67% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

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Porter-Bass 2008 Heintz Vineyard Chardonnay - 4 Pack
$79.99 Sold Out
$79.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
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