Stop right there and put your hands up, bank robber! I’m going to have to take you in!

“Who are you?”

I’m Todd, the Gewürztraminer of Mendocino County.

“Wait, the what of Mendocino County?”

The Gewürztraminer. It’s German for sheriff.

“I don’t know German, but I’m not sure that’s what that means.”

Well, whatever! It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that I’m the law around these parts, and I just can’t let you walk away with all that money. Now, stick em up high!

“But, why should I? You’re not even armed.”

Oh yeah? What do you call this?

“A bottle of wine.”

Yes! A bottle of 2008 Pacific Wine Works Gewürztraminer to be exact. So we can do this the easy way – you drop your pistol and let me cuff you and bring you down to the station – or we could do this the hard way – I uncork this bottle and pour us a couple glasses.

“Wait, we just drink wine together? That’s the hard way?”

Just drink wine? Are you serious? No way! This wine has undergone a long, cold fermentation process so you better watch out! It’s gonna be left hook: sweet Bosch, right hook: Asian pear! Then slap, bright acidity on the palate that elevates the pear and pineapple notes from out of nowhere! Think that’s all? Nope! Think again! You’re looking at a long, spicy finish with notes of black pepper and citron! So, tell me: are you scared yet, punk?

“I’m not sure you’re going to like how I answer this one…”

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