Wining and Dining the Count

According to frequent Wooter "D. R. Acula," this wine is "even better than the blood of the innocent." We assume that's a metaphor.

The carriage ride to the castle had been terrifying, a jostling, bumpy affair around winding mountain roads beset on all sides by oppressive fog and the anguished wails of the creatures of the night. More than once I looked out my window to see a pack of rabid wolves rushing along beside our carriage. The horses only barely maintained their course, but in due time I saw it looming ahead of us like the abandoned throne of some bitter ancient god: Castle Dracula.

The Count greeted me shortly after my arrival, and as imposing as the Castle was, I don’t believe I’ve ever been so thoroughly chilled as I was when I took his hand. It was cold to the touch, and his piercing blue eyes were somehow impossibly colder. He smiled, sincerely, but it was a smile completely devoid of compassion or warmth. His gaze left me deeply unsettled, but his hospitality I could not disparage; a spacious room, friendly and voluptuous female staff, and an incredible meal laid out for me upon my arrival.

As we ate, I could not help but notice that Count did not have a drink in front of him. Having finished my water, I produced from my bag a bottle of 2011 Joseph Henry Chardonnay. I offered some to the Count, but he politely declined.

“I never drink … wine.”

I shrugged, and poured myself a glass. It was delicious, and proved a compelling companion for the salad, fish, and poultry laid out before me. While I was distracted by the crisp green apple and citrus flavors, to say nothing of the hint of pear, the Count suddenly materialized behind me. He placed his hand on my shoulder, and with terrible strength pinned me to my chair. In my terror, I nearly shrieked, but the Count suddenly relaxed his grip, having caught a closer glimpse of my bottle.

“Say, is that a 2011 Joseph Henry?” I nodded in terrified assent. “Well, I suppose I could drink … wine just this once.” And we did, and had quite the pleasant evening. We finished up our real estate dealings the next morning, and he sent me off, cheerfully babbling on about “taking London like a lost, under-dressed librarian at midnight,”  “flooding Leicester square with the blood of that arthritic old dog Van Helsing,” and how "thanks to your fine wine, there'll be a place for you as a pet in my dark, predatory empire of hedonism." But other than that, really, he seemed a pleasant chap, and he certainly had excellent taste in wine.

Back to top

Features

2011 Joseph Henry Chardonnay, California, 750ml 6-Pack

This Chardonnay has an enticing floral nose of apples with a hint of pear;  on the palate,  crisp green apple and fresh citrus.  It was fermented in stainless steel to produce a great well balanced wine.  A perfect companion for salads, fish, poultry or out on the porch.

Specs

Winery Retail Price: $120.00
Average Shipping:  $30.00
Average Tax:   $4.90
Woot Shipping:  (-$5.00)
Total MSRP:   $149.90

 

  • Varietal Blend: 95% Chardonnay 5% Viognier
  • Appellation:  California (Blend of Mendocino/Lake/Lodi)
  • Alcohol: 13.5%
  • pH: 3.72
  • RS: .51
  • SO2 free: 12
  • TA:48g
  • VA: .043g
  • Winemaker: Chris Mulcahy

 

 

Winery Details

Joseph Henry Wine

Owner:
Lisa and Chris Mulcahy
Location:
Healdsburg, CA
Wine with a purpose...
 
We created Joseph Henry to bring great tasting wines to your table at an affordable price.  Our other mission is to use at least 50% of the profits from Joseph Henry to support four star charities that serve our military families and veterans. We chose the Eagle as our logo because it represents strength and freedom.   Joseph Henry wines are produced by the same team that produces the award winning Sapphire Hill Winery in Healdsburg California.
 
Joseph Henry Wine is a second brand from Sapphire Hill Winery.

 

 

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
4m 50.227s
First Sucker:
bklono
Last Wooter to Woot:
rodflippen

Purchaser Experience

  • 8% first woot
  • 0% second woot
  • 11% < 10 woots
  • 15% < 25 woots
  • 66% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 0% one month old
  • 13% one year old
  • 81% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 91% bought 1
  • 8% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

9%
0%
2%
2%
0%
4%
2%
6%
4%
6%
8%
11%
8%
0%
6%
6%
4%
2%
4%
2%
6%
2%
4%
6%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (11 comments)
join the discussion (11 comments)
Joseph Henry Chardonnay (6)
$69.99 Sold Out Food, Beverages & Tobacco > Beverages > Wine
$69.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3