If your dinner is watching its weight, this is not the wine to serve.
Very good, Sir. One filet mignon and a caesar salad. Anything for the pig?
"Why I NEVER!"
Buddy, you gotta lotta nerve talkin' about the missus like that, and right in front of her ta boot!
"Beg pardon, Sir. But I was referring to your other companion."
OH! Gladys here ain't no pig! She's our prize-winnin' hog! Just took blue ribbon at the fair.
"Well in that case, might I offer you a celebratory beverage?"
Yes, I think we'll have a round of that Gård Vintners Freyja white wine I saw you got on special.
"Oh no, Sir. I cannot recommend that particular wine at this time."
Why? What's wrong with it?
"Well, nothing is wrong with it, per se. In fact, it's quite delightful. The palate is rich, broad and balanced with a creamy texture, and a nose of white blossoms, raw honey and melon rind."
That'd be just fine. We feed Gladys melon rinds all the time, don't we girl?
"Sir, I really must insist you choose another wine."
Oh really? And why is that, exactly?
"It's just that, well, to be quite blunt, Sir, this wine goes with almost any food, with the exception of the … er … heaviest of meats."
:::SNORT SNORT SQUEEEAL:::
Now lookie what you done. I think you owe Gladys here an apology. A slice of that apple pie would do just fine.
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