Once it makes it to your doorstep, the neighbors won’t be able to stop commenting on how big your package is.

Go ahead and let ‘em talk. Let them fantasize about just how amazing it must feel to hold it in your hands knowing all of the pleasure you’ll be able to share with friends, acquaintances, even family members who wish to partake of the wonders within it. Let them gossip about what it must be like to watch the rich, balanced, and complex liquids spill forth from its opening and sipping them from a glass. Let their disappointment overwhelm them knowing that nothing in their own wine collection can bring them the satisfaction that your big 3-liter bottle of 1998 Coombsville Vineyard 100% Cabernet Sauvignon can.

Just make sure no one on your block has ordered a big-screen HDTV set to arrive the same day. You don’t want someone else’s package competing with yours.

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