Any kid on the block will tell you: If you lose your ball in the Crazy Wine Lady’s yard, don’t go after it.

“No way. I’ve heard she never goes outside because her skin will catch fire. Instead, she just stands at the window stroking one of her Big DeVine wines. I can get another ball.” – Billy Jones, age 9

“My older brother told me never to walk in front of her house. If you do and you start to smell blueberry and boysenberry, run as fast as you can, ‘cause that means she’s about to snatch you up! That’s how the exchange student's best friend’s cousin’s best friend said he disappeared, no lie.” – Jake Houser, age 10

“I’ve heard she sold her soul to the devil and makes the wine herself out of the blood of homeless orphans! Oh yeah, and she only ever drinks a bottle with the finest cheeses and meats. KID meats!” – Spencer Myers, age 8

“My dad says she’s just really sad and lonely since her husband passed away. They were big wine ‘conny sewers’ or whatever he called them, and the last wine they drank together was the one she’s always carrying around. He said he guesses they remind her of him. Then he made me go up to her door and apologize for setting a bag of dog poop on fire outside her door. She’s not so scary when she smiles.” – Abby Dunn, age 9

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