Back to Amazon.com

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:Her name was Eileen.

Last Post!



Nope, different one I guess. (although I understand she had a Japanese sister - Irene)

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:Nope, different one I guess. (although I understand she had a Japanese sister - Irene)

Last Post!



Italian building inspectors in Pisa are leanient.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:Italian building inspectors in Pisa are leanient.

Last Post!



I used to date a cross-eyed girl, (until I found out she was seeing someone else on the side)

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:I used to date a cross-eyed girl, (until I found out she was seeing someone else on the side)

Last Post!



I used to date a Siamese twin until she caught me having an affair with her twin.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:I used to date a Siamese twin until she caught me having an affair with her twin.

Last Post!



Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Last Post

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Last Post



Sad news today. A red ship collided with a blue ship. The sailors were marooned.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:Sad news today. A red ship collided with a blue ship. The sailors were marooned.

Last Post!



My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Last Post!



A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

Last Post!



It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Last Post!



Turquoise is the best color. It has been proven cyantifically.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:Turquoise is the best color. It has been proven cyantifically.

Last Post!



Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

Last Post!



Some clock makers are normal, but others are a little cuckoo.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:Some clock makers are normal, but others are a little cuckoo.

Last Post!



6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down. (at least it was in the days before digital)

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down. (at least it was in the days before digital)

Last Post!



A local clock factory burned last week. There was a lot of second hand smoke.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:A local clock factory burned last week. There was a lot of second hand smoke.

Last Post!



My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Last Post!



People who get a transfusion in a Taiwanese hospital receive Taipei blood.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:People who get a transfusion in a Taiwanese hospital receive Taipei blood.

Last Post!



I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

Last Post!



My neighbor has been engaged many times, but he never did get married. There have been quite a few near Mrs.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:My neighbor has been engaged many times, but he never did get married. There have been quite a few near Mrs.

Last Post!



I really want to buy one of those supermarket checkout dividers, but the lady behind the register keeps putting it back.

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

moles1138


quality posts: 49 Private Messages moles1138

When I was a kid, putting air in your bicycle tire was free.
Now it’s $1.50!
I asked the gas station attendant why.
He said, “Inflation.”


LP

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
moles1138 wrote:When I was a kid, putting air in your bicycle tire was free.
Now it’s $1.50!
I asked the gas station attendant why.
He said, “Inflation.”


LP



I tried throwing away my trashcan, but the garbage men won't take it.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:I tried throwing away my trashcan, but the garbage men won't take it.

Last Post!



A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation for a local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 100 Private Messages daveinwarshington
digitaljanitor wrote:A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation for a local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Last Post!

If I got 50 cents for every math test I failed...
I'd have $7.38

Last Post

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
daveinwarshington wrote:If I got 50 cents for every math test I failed...
I'd have $7.38

Last Post



which could be entirely plausible if you started out with $2.38 and then failed 20 math tests.

Last Post!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 100 Private Messages daveinwarshington

I have kleptomania.
But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Last
Post

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
daveinwarshington wrote:I have kleptomania.
But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Last
Post



I went along to the local Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting but all the seats were taken.

Last Post

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 100 Private Messages daveinwarshington
digitaljanitor wrote:I went along to the local Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting but all the seats were taken.

Last Post

The main reason that the French eat snails: they don't like fast food.

Last Post

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
daveinwarshington wrote:The main reason that the French eat snails: they don't like fast food.

Last Post



A turtle was walking down the street when he was attacked by a gang of snails.

When asked by the police what happened he said, “I don’t know, it all happened so quickly.”

Last Post

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 100 Private Messages daveinwarshington

Why did they fire the cross-eyed teacher?

Because she couldn't control her pupils.

Last
Post

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
daveinwarshington wrote:Why did they fire the cross-eyed teacher?

Because she couldn't control her pupils.

Last Post



People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.

Last Post

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 100 Private Messages daveinwarshington
digitaljanitor wrote:People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.

Last Post

It's pointless to tell a bald guy a hair-raising story.

LP

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
daveinwarshington wrote:It's pointless to tell a bald guy a hair-raising story.

LP



Shouldn’t pregnant women be called body builders?

Last Post

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:Shouldn’t pregnant women be called body builders?

Last Post



I tried to record an album in a reptile shop, but there was a terrible gecko.

Last Post!

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
GodfatherND wrote:I tried to record an album in a reptile shop, but there was a terrible gecko.

Last Post!



I once got into so much debt that I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

Last Post

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 100 Private Messages daveinwarshington
digitaljanitor wrote:I once got into so much debt that I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

Last Post

I lost my job at a bank on the very first day.

A woman asked if I would check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Last post

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
daveinwarshington wrote:I lost my job at a bank on the very first day.

A woman asked if I would check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Last post



Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Last Post

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 100 Private Messages daveinwarshington
digitaljanitor wrote:Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Last Post


LP

digitaljanitor


quality posts: 54 Private Messages digitaljanitor
daveinwarshington wrote:
LP



A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

Last Post

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND
digitaljanitor wrote:A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

Last Post



Some members of the royal family moved into my neighborhood. They live Tudors down.

Last Post!

daveinwarshington


quality posts: 100 Private Messages daveinwarshington

A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs. It became known as Dogless Fairbanks.
Last Post