The Far Superior Grape "Drank"
Preferred wine of classy rappers everywhere... not Kanye, but then do you really count somebody dating a Kardashian and dressing like a crappy spinoff Drop Dead Fred as "classy"?
MC Class Yo’ Hands was killing it again; the club was, as they say, bumpin’. His fans were screaming their lungs out, his rhymes were fresh, and his hype-man was that perfect blend of loud and annoying. After his second encore, MCCYH loped back to his dressing room, exhausted and thirsty. His entourage was waiting.
Lil Big Little Poppa Jon greeted him warmly, “Yo, Class, great show, man! We got some bubbly chillin’ here for you!”
MCCYH scowled. “My good sir,” he said gently removing his monocle, “that won’t do at all. I’ll need something a bit more refined.”
Dr. Freshonomics PhD MD piped up next, “Bourbon?”
“I’m afraid that won’t do, my dearest of associates,” replied MCCYH, as he waxed his mustache in front of the vanity.
Sonogrammatically Challenged had the next suggestion, “Cognac?”
MCCYH sighed, and absentmindedly polished his cufflinks, “No, no, that still won’t quite cut the mustard, mon frère. I desire something more classical, yet modern; perhaps a nice Petite Syrah, something with aromas of black and blue fruits, perhaps a hint of expensive new French oak, and a structure that is both ageworthy and eminently spontaneously palatable…” he trailed off, suspecting that no such wine was to be found in the green room of Dave’s Hip Hoptometrist.
But all hope was not lost, as Missy “Les Mis” Misdemeanor, only recently signed to MCCYH’s Monopoly Man Records, had not yet made her voice heard. “Would this 2011 Stillman fit the bill, my dear patron?” she asked.
MC Class Yo Hands was thrilled, and he grinned from ear to ear. That would do quite nicely, and he was refreshed to have another refined palate along for the tour. Perhaps the rest of the entourage, from DJ Deadmaker to Kanyeductational Failure could learn a little something of class from her. At the very least, a little something of wine.