Windsor Oaks Reserve Cab Sauvignon (3)

by wootbot

Harold Returns.

Not to be confused with Windsor Oaks Elementary School in Virginia Beach, VA.

"Hey, Crobert, you wanted to see me?"

"Ah, yes, Harold. Please have a seat."

"Uh-oh. Sounds serious."

"Harold, I realize your past relationship with WineFancy was severed under somewhat mysterious circumstances, but we wanted to give you a solid chance to shine here at New Country Wine Digest.

"I know, Crobert, and I sure do appreciate the opportunity."

"Yes, well. I wonder if one of the criticisms you received at WineFancy was your unorthodox terminology to describe wine."

"What? What's wrong with my descriptions?"

"You said the Windsor Oaks Reserve Cab Sauv was 'like a jug of warm apple-milk brew from days of yore'."

"What about it? You've never had apple-milk brew?"

"No, Harold, nobody has."

"Plenty of people have where I come from."

"Is that also true of the part where you said the wine is 'redolent of sweet Nyquil that reminds one of favorite childhood memories'?"

"Of course, Crobert. You didn't have Nyquil nights when you were a kid?"

"Again, that's not a thing. Lastly, Harold, you mention the 'mouthfeel delivers a silky sensation not unlike the tendrils of my grandmother's finest wig'."

"Oh come on. You're gonna tell me that's wrong?"

"Harold, it's so messed up that I don't even KNOW if it's wrong."

"Fine. How about something like, 'richer than Grade A owl meat'?"

"Get out of my office."