Drink away on this day, a day of mourning.
Am I the only one who thinks that Lucas J. Russian sounds like a really bad alias for the evil guy in a spy movie?
Oh wait. Black Friday isn't a national day of mourning? Well heck! This calls for a celebration! You should buy more wine for drinking! You see what we did there? No matter how we spin it, Black Friday is all about you buying more wine! Yaaaaay wine!