"Okay, roll for initiative."

"All right. Your wizard arrives in town and makes his way to the local tavern-"

"Seriously? The tavern? Ugh, so cliché."

"What do you mean? That's where people would go back in the days of-"

"But I'm not back in the days of anywhere. I'm in a vaguely medieval setting in which there is magic. Actual fireball-throwing, ghost eagles raining death down from the sky magic."

"Fine. Where do you want to go?"

"Hey, you're the DM."

"Then you're in the tavern."

"Fine. I get drunk."

"You don't want to talk to anybody? See if anyone has an adventure they need assistance with?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Hey, is this whole scenario going to play out with you questioning my character's every move?"

"No, it's just-"

"It's just you thought I would succumb to the same ol' RPG tropes of taverns and adventure and whatnot, and I think my wizard is just gonna sit back and enjoy a nice white wine instead. Besides, I have a feeling whoever has an adventure will somehow make their way to me eventually."

"You don't have to be so difficult, y'know."

"I'm just playing in character. My alignment is chaotic. Pass the dip."

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