It’s one of those weeks again: look for a second Saxon Brown deal at midnight Thursday morning.

I know how this looks, Officer. Yes, you caught me prowling in the shrubs outside Jeff Gaffner’s home. Yes, I tried to gain entry to his workplace by posing as a Jacuzzi repairman. Yes, I have been following him all over the Sonoma Valley. But it’s not because I mean him any harm. I just want him to sell his Saxon Brown wines through Wine.Woot again.

See, a busy guy like Jeff is awfully hard to get ahold of. When he’s not meticulously crafting small lots for Saxon Brown, he’s consulting for other labels like Armida, Xtant, Black Kite and Stephanie. Or he’s off accepting yet another award for his superlative wines. I’ve tried calling and emailing, but I could never quite pin him down. What’s a lowly web wine scavenger like me to do?

Officer, you’ll understand my desperation after you taste one of these exquisite reds. How could I miss a chance to bring the Saxon Brown 2001 Zinfandel, Casa Santinamaria “Old Vine” to our audience? They loved the 2000 vintage of this Zin when we offered it before. The 2001 model delivers the same intense raspberry and dried cranberry signature as the 2000, with cherry, dark chocolate, and sweet oak tones. Elegant, complex, structured: this is what Zin is supposed to be. It didn’t get 90 points from Wine Spectator for nothing. And Jeff only made 310 cases of it, on a harvest of just half a ton per acre. To get my hands on a dry-farmed, low-yield, small-lot Zinfandel like this, I have to act fast before the gourmet restaurants lap it all up.

Not that the Saxon Brown 2005 Syrah, Flora Ranch Chalk Hill is any easier to come by. I didn’t mean to frighten Jeff when I approached him in the airport men’s room last week. I’m not typically the kind of guy who goes crawling under bathroom stall doors. But when Tanzer gave it 90 points, I knew I had to act fast to land this one, propriety be damned. As you’d expect from a Saxon Brown wine, it was harvested gently in the cool morning hours, and fermented slowly with a low rate of yeast. When you first open the bottle, you’ll notice dark fruit with floral and lavender notes. Once it breathes a little, it takes on a mocha, dark chocolate, and roasted coffee character. And it gets even better, fuller, Syrah-er after an hour or so. It’s amazing – but then, amazing is what I expect from Saxon Brown.

So, if you’ll be so kind as to remove these cuffs, Officer, I’m sure we can clear up this silly misunderstanding. I’m not a stalker! Why, the very idea! I’m just a wine enthusiast and e-commerce professional going the extra mile to make a deal. if you want even one of the 1700 cases Saxon Brown produces each year, you can’t just sit there and wait for it to come to you. You have to act fast, get his attention. It’s just business. You can understand that, right? Oh, uh, you don’t need to look in that pocket, it’s – there’s really nothing of interest there. Seriously, don’t -

OK, yeah, I admit it. I found those fingernail clippings in the trash outside Jeff Gaffner’s home. I made that little wooden box to save them in, and I lined the inside with velvet. And yes, I carved a portrait of Jeff into the lid of the box. But so what? Is that a crime? It’s just business, Officer! Honest!

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