Alright in there, break it up. That’s enough passion for one night. Out of the car, let’s go.

Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up here for. I may be Officer Old Guy to you 2004 Meeker Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignons, but they’ve called this place Kiss Ridge long before you were even born. You tell your parents you’re going on your little date and then you come up here just bursting with intense flavor that you can’t hold in any longer. But it ain’t decent, I tell ya. You wines come from a good winery, with an excellent vintage attached to your names. Why do you want to ruin your reputation like this, huh?

Look, it’s not like I’m trying to be unsympathetic here. You’re young. You’re attractive. You’ve got this huge nose of big spice, black currant, and dark cherries, and you want to experiment a little. It’s natural. But I’m sure your parents have tried to tell you to be responsible about carrying those elements forward on the palate along with plum, coffee, earth, and toasty French oak. You’ve got a long, silky finish ahead of you. Why do you want to rush it on some hill in…?

Wait a minute! Who else is in that car? Hey, wise guy, get out of there, right now! What the heck is going on here? A 3-pack?! Oh, ho, ho. And here I was thinking about letting you kids off with a warning. Now, I just don’t see any choice but to let your parents know what went on up here, do you?

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