No, I’m not “drinking wine.” I’m making vases out of wine bottles. There’s a difference.

Like any craftsman, I must be meticulous in my work. For example, to transform these bottles of Jason-Stephens 2008 Estate Merlot and 2008 Estate Cabernet Sauvignon into vessels for fresh cut flowers, I must extract just the right amount of wine. Which is all of it. Leaving even a half-glass in any one of them could cause premature petal wilt-age in their soon-to-be floral tenants.

That being said, I guess I can understand why you’re so doubtful. Most crafts involve building, while mine is art by extraction. But there is no need to call into question my hard work simply because I am enjoying myself.

I mean, seriously. Do you expect me to just pour all of this wine down the drain? Would you blame the brick layer for biting into one of his bricks if it tasted of vanilla, dried goji berry, peppercorn, and mint like the Estate Merlot? Would you punish the jeweler who slipped the occasional bead into her mouth if it possessed the same delicious layers of mint and spice as the Estate Cabernet Sauvignon? No! So why must I receive your scorn for drinking the wine that is, essentially, in my way?

I’m glad I could help you realize all of the effort that I put into my work. Now, would you do me a favor and put this bottle in the recycling bin over there? It’s not yet vase-making season, really. That one was just practice.

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