Once in the land of Paso Robles, there were five sisters. On the inside, they were as complex and flavorful as any other bottles of wine, and more than most. But oh, how ugly they were…

Nobody wanted to drink the JanKris sisters because their labels were so tacky and unappealing. The townsfolk were so repulsed by the gaudy purple-and-gold getup that they couldn’t imagine that the wine was worth drinking. And so the five JanKris sisters languished in a cottage outside of town, hidden away from the eyes and tongues of the world. Every day they wished their fairy godmother would send them someone who would appreciate the sisters for what was on the inside, not dismiss them for what was on the outside.

Then one day a humble data-entry associate got lost in the woods on his way home from the office park. His wandering gave him a powerful thirst. When he saw the little cottage in the woods, he approached – then realized that it was the home of the ugly JanKris sisters. He was about to turn and flee when something made him change his mind. Grow up, man, he told himself. You’re the thirsty one. You’re going to turn down a drink just because you don’t like the labels on the bottle? Don’t be such a baby.

So he knocked on the door and asked for a drink. The sisters were so happy to see someone that they each poured him a glass. And the wanderer couldn’t believe his tongue. Despite their hideous appearance, the 2004 Zinfandel was a revelation, with its muscular flavors of sweet blackberry and raspberry and its soft, spicy finish. The 2003 Syrah dazzled him with a weighty, smoky mouthful of dark fruit, black olives, cocoa, and cinnamon. The soft, round, supple 2006 Merlot; the drinkably fruity 2004 Riatta blend; the bright, rich 2004 Picaro – each sister, it seemed, was as alluring as she was homely. “JanKris sisters,” he said, “I don’t care what you look like. I love you.”

Then, thanks to his unquestioning love for the sisters regardless of how they looked, a magical thing happened. In a cloud of smoke appeared new owners for JanKris Winery. They said they would design new labels so the sisters could be beautiful on the outside to reflect their beauty on the inside. As for the humble data-entry associate, he bought up a bunch of the ugly bottles cheap on Wine.Woot. And they all lived drunkenly ever after.

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