Go on, Mr. Harper.
“As I’ve said many, many times before, I simply brought the Creminelli Fine Meats Artisan Salami 4-Pack into the office to share. Had I known people would be so offended by artisan meats like Tartufo Salami with Black Truffles, I would’ve-”
Black truffles?
“Yes. They use specially-trained dogs to sniff out black truffles and use their scintillating aroma to-”
Why do the truffles need to be clarified as ‘black,’ Mr. Harper?
“Well- Wait. Are you trying to imply something?”
I’m just curious.
“Look I’m already in enough trouble here, don’t fabricate some kind of PC-gone-berserk racism case against me just because some biologist 200 years ago decided rather arbitrarily to call them black truffles.”
Please continue, Mr. Harper.
“As I was saying, I was slicing myself a bit of the Casalingo Salami when my accuser-”
Let the record show Mr. Harper is pointing, rather rudely in fact, at Ms. Lyons.
“Yes. When my accuser, MS. Lyons happened by. I simply offered her some delicious salami. She had every right to refuse if she does not like such things.”
And this is when, in Ms. Lyons’ words, you said- Hang on, let me make sure I quote you correctly: ‘Hey Sarah, haven’t you always wanted to suck down my salami?’ Is that accurate, Mr. Harper?
“Yes. Well when you kill the delivery like that it sounds weird, but in the moment it was a joke. A playful joke. And she has expressed an interest in-”
In what, Mr. Harper?
“In trying artisan meat products. That’s all.”
I think we have enough here to adjourn and reach a verdict.
Tartufo Salami with Black Truffles
The Black Summer Truffles (Tuber aestivum) spring up between June and October in northern Italy. They are found by specially-trained dogs who sniff out their hiding spots where they are then gathered by hand. The local mushroom enthusiasts each have a secret spot or two where they hope to find some of their own truffles from year to year. Creminelli has hidden a few of them away in our Salami Tartufo and you are sure to find them there each time you go looking. Their delicate aroma works magic with the all-natural pork to create the Salami Tartufo.
Ingredients: Pork, Salt, Sugars, Natural Flavors, Spices (Pepper), Black Truffle (0.5% ), Lactic Acid Starter Cultures, Garlic, In beef casing.
Casalingo Salami
Salami Casalingo or salami di casa translates into “the salami of the house” or “household salami” and is derived from the Italian tradition of each household producing its own salami. The popularization of this version of household salami emerges from the Creminelli’s province of Biella thanks in no small part to the Creminelli family, which has been producing it for several generations. It is well known for its simple and natural ingredients. A small quantity of salt, pepper and spice is all that is needed to enhance the remarkable quality of the pork. It does not have a strong, overbearing taste and this is the secret of its success: sweetness and simplicity.
Ingredients: Pork, Salt, Sugars, Natural Flavors, Spices (Pepper), Lactic Acid Starter Cultures, Garlic, In beef casing.
In the Piedmont region of Italy, the Creminelli family has made artisan salami and sausage products for longer than anybody can remember. But U.S. import restrictions have meant that you couldn’t enjoy them without a ticket to Italy. Not anymore. Cristiano Creminelli is here – and he’s on a mission.
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