There are exactly two ways to look ultra-cool while opening a bottle of wine.

The first way requires you to be sitting on a wet street lit with blue or green light after escaping from the police. You’ll say pfah with contempt, pick up a bottle from the early 1800s, say look at this swill, eh? and flip it backwards in your hand while catching the neck against the pavement, shattering the top. You’ll then poor it devil-may-care into your mouth and turn to your shocked and amazed companion, offer them a drink, and mumble Life’s too short, my friend! as you roll and light a cigarette. Later, you’ll both steal a car and escape to the mountains.

The second way is much simpler. You only have to take a Chateau Epernay Cork Screw out of its box.

It doesn’t matter if you pick the mahogany or the bamboo or the rosewood or the ebony or the anigre or the bone, each Chateau Epernay Cork Screw will be hand-crafted and built with fine stainless steel. You’ll impress your friends, enrage your enemies, and get a polite nod from acquaintances and strangers.

Plus with the Chateau Epernay Cork Screw, you won’t worry about getting glass in your mouth like some kind of street rat. Just because it looks cool in the movies doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Ever hear of special effects and breakaway glass? The Chateau Epernay Cork Screw is really the way to go.

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