CARROLLTON, TEXAS, April 16, 2016 — Internet conglomerate Woot Inc. announced today it had unearthed a tractor trailer load of Power Balance wristbands. The trailer had apparently been buried behind the company's Texas headquarters.
"We were digging up the parking lot because of a broken sewer pipe, and came across the trailer," said President and CEO Thunder Thighs. "We're unsure of who buried it — but I'm sure that our loyal subscribers can't wait to get their hands on these collectable wristbands!"
According to Ms. Thunder Thighs, the rediscovered trove of "sporty and fun" wristbands will soon be offered for sale on the company's website at the same $6 price they sold for in 2013. Leftovers will continue to be offered until they sell out — or are again buried beneath the tarmac.