ThunderThighs wrote:

I've got the whole pig in here!

ThunderThighs wrote:

It sure doesn't taste like tomato juice!

ThunderThighs wrote:

Johnny breathlessly waited for his shrew of a wife to taste the hemlock stew he made especially for her. And then, just as she lifted the death-laden spoon to her mouth, the iron rang....

ThunderThighs wrote:

Darn it! I really wish I hadn't sat on the last one!

ThunderThighs wrote:

Fortunately for the Lipschitz boys, they were wearing the asbestos shorts their Aunty Ramona sent them for Christmas.

ThunderThighs wrote:

This is what will happen if you dont eat your bacon!

ThunderThighs wrote:

"You know that third little pig thought he was oh so clever with his house of bricks, but your father rented a bulldozer, and voila! Dinner!"

ThunderThighs wrote:

"Smiling like this would be so much easier if my cigarette and your potholder weren't imaginary."

ThunderThighs wrote:

"That'll teach her to tell me men should share their place in the kitchen."

ThunderThighs wrote:

"I wonder if I'm advertising a refrigerator or steaks. Oh, stop thinking, Edith, you don't smile pleasantly when you think."

ThunderThighs wrote:

"Attractive women fry with Wesson Oil. Wesson, because other oils are for hags."

ThunderThighs wrote:

"I'm crazy for casseroles! never did catch on; but the phrase survived and finally stuck as I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!"

ThunderThighs wrote:

Bacon-garlic-onion tapioca: for those evenings you just want to be left alone.

ThunderThighs wrote:

Where the others had failed, the fourth pan of eggs was finally able to capture Lois' gaze, and she was unable to look away...

ThunderThighs wrote:

The ad read, "All the cozy charm of a quaint European apartment!" She realized too late what they really meant was, "Remember that dive in Paris, where you had to sit on the bed to close the door? Well this place is so small, you'll have to sit on the table to cook your breakfast!"

ThunderThighs wrote:

From now on, I am going to eat 20 slices of this magical meat every day or my name is not Rosie O'Donnell!

ThunderThighs wrote:

"Vegan. It's what's for dinner!"

For Tony and Maria that day there were no Jets, no Sharks, no guns, no fights, no pain. Only bacon.

ThunderThighs wrote:

My goodness - I didn't know slices of my apron could get so crisp!

Mr. Bobbit, that looks absolutely divine!

ThunderThighs wrote:

See, children, cake! You like cake and the cake likes it in here. You will, too!

ThunderThighs wrote:

I can't believe you're making me eat the bacon fat...

udavidj wrote:Fortunately for the Lipschitz boys, they were wearing the asbestos shorts their Aunty Ramona sent them for Christmas.

Man, I laughed for a good solid 75 seconds at this caption, I don't know why I find it so funny, but it's killing me! haha

ThunderThighs wrote:

I hope that's a Woot logo skillet they're using!

ThunderThighs wrote:

By the look on her face while taste-testing the gravy, he wondered if the remaining 4 bottles of Miller were going to be enough to get through THIS meal.

Bob waited nervously. If she could fake it, they could make it. He just knew it!

ThunderThighs wrote:

stick on fork in bacon...it's done (heavy sigh)

ThunderThighs wrote:

do you think that now is the time to buy some dishes?

ThunderThighs wrote:

I just want to know why the kids' genitals are resting on a hot oven door.

ThunderThighs wrote:

Seduced by the idea of a man cooking, she came closer and closer... "What do you have there Dexter?"

Dexter triumphantly raised the cooking meat in her direction, "The question you should be asking is not what, but who?"

ThunderThighs wrote:

Mrs. Lovett has carried on with her "Make your own meat pie" mail order business during the investigation.

In related news... Police are still looking for the lead investigator in Mrs. Lovett's case. His last message was that he was going to get cleaned up before appearing in court.

ThunderThighs wrote:

When the newly regenerated Doctor demanded Amelia Pond "fry something" for him, she made him a plate of bacon. He began eating but spat it out in disgust, asking Amelia if she were trying to poison him.