kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oh, man, I hope that's just a squished raisin on the floor of the men's room!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I've been put on suicide watch several times."

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 554 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

"She likes my green whacker."

"What does it do if you put it in your pocket?"



Customer Service: support@woot.com ••• Allow 1-2 business days for response.
••• ► Woot's Return Policy
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CANCEL?? How to cancel your order in the first 15 minutes!! - except Woot-Offs & expedited orders

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"My face is burning up. I've got hot flashes to the face."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Did somebody just peel an orange?"

"Is that an euphemism?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"There's also a team whose mascot is a black panther. I'm just sayin', "black panther" means different things to different people, too..."

unangrybird


quality posts: 0 Private Messages unangrybird

I recall hearing the words "Back to work".

Raining


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Raining
unangrybird wrote:I recall hearing the words "Back to work".

Hearing the words "Back to work" is enough to make you not want to get up in the morning.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"So, do you like mushing it with your tongue?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's hard to beat Snyder's rods..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oh, you do it like my daughter. She stretches hers out really long."

unangrybird


quality posts: 0 Private Messages unangrybird
kenney9226 wrote:"Oh, you do it like my daughter. She stretches hers out really long."



Do I want to inquire where you work or what you do for a living?

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"What are we even doing here today? It's the day before the Fourth of July!"

novels22


quality posts: 0 Private Messages novels22
PemberDucky wrote:...or shopping mall, or gym, or truck stop parking lot. Wherever you spend your time, lotlizards.

I'd say that I hear something completely absurd here at work at least once a day. I've decided to start logging these nuggets, and I invite you to join, EBW. I've got three to get started:

1. "Yeah! They lactate stardust!"

2. "Well, maybe here, but I promise it's not that uncommon in Sweden and Germany."

3. Co-worker A: "How do you know so damn much about ostriches?"
Co-worker B: "Uh, hello?! I went to school!"



I was with my Mom, and three friends, in the parking lot of a Panera, when I was 5. We were walking to our car, when I heard a woman just yell "F**K!" like 8 times at another woman. This was a mentally scarring experience.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista

I'd do anything for you. Especially press two buttons.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 3 Private Messages Nitetigrezz

"What a way to start the morning. I can't believe I made such a mess."

~ First ever Book of Cheats ~ 7/11/2014 ~

clbraden78


quality posts: 0 Private Messages clbraden78

on the smoke porch of an oil rig:

Well, perhaps that wasnt the best idea after all. How many fingers did he lose?

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 3 Private Messages Nitetigrezz

Thanks to the company a friend of mine works for: "Cuming needs more release material."

As well as: "Well I invited all my Cuming friends..."

~ First ever Book of Cheats ~ 7/11/2014 ~

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 3 Private Messages Nitetigrezz

*headdesks*
"I never knew Link had such a long thick black rock."

~ First ever Book of Cheats ~ 7/11/2014 ~

zsinix


quality posts: 5 Private Messages zsinix

"Yeah, I do love playing with your ball." (referencing someone's balance ball)

PemberDucky wrote:...or shopping mall, or gym, or truck stop parking lot. Wherever you spend your time, lotlizards.

I'd say that I hear something completely absurd here at work at least once a day. I've decided to start logging these nuggets, and I invite you to join, EBW. I've got three to get started:

1. "Yeah! They lactate stardust!"

2. "Well, maybe here, but I promise it's not that uncommon in Sweden and Germany."

3. Co-worker A: "How do you know so damn much about ostriches?"
Co-worker B: "Uh, hello?! I went to school!"



Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 3 Private Messages Nitetigrezz
zsinix wrote:"Yeah, I do love playing with your ball." (referencing someone's balance ball)



It's always more fun when you don't mention context XD For example: "Hey! Not all over my skirt!"

~ First ever Book of Cheats ~ 7/11/2014 ~

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I had to wean myself from creamer."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Ooo, this is really hard. Come here and touch it."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Don't put a note on his door. I don't want people to come see me instead!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"They have better things to do, but apparently we're the ass they want to chew."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'm confident that this is where Kyle will make an ass out of himself."

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 3 Private Messages Nitetigrezz
kenney9226 wrote:"They have better things to do, but apparently we're the ass they want to chew."



That's frighteningly catchy x.x

"Where's the std clinic?"

~ First ever Book of Cheats ~ 7/11/2014 ~

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"We gotta replace your whole rear end..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Can I just pop this in real quick?"

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

"You and your bubbles."

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

bestsportnascar


quality posts: 7 Private Messages bestsportnascar

Coworker was having trouble getting the coke machine to take a dollar. after a few times of it spitting it out. "Come on, take it in like the little b**** that you are."



kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Now you're a double hooker."

jqubed


quality posts: 7 Private Messages jqubed
bestsportnascar wrote:Coworker was having trouble getting the coke machine to take a dollar. after a few times of it spitting it out. "Come on, take it in like the little b**** that you are."



wow

ⅉℚ Seventh Annual Woot! Bracketology | I'm Quality Peoples!

Skye — 1997-2007

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's been a long time since we flew our monkeys..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I bought a live chicken for five bucks!"

moles1138


quality posts: 8 Private Messages moles1138

"That's a lot of pop"
A coworker responding to an EW article stating the size of a p0rn star's implants, when it was noted that they were 2 liters each.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I was just talking to myself."
"Not any more, because I am listening to you..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I laugh at people who don't know what their anachronisms are."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"It was a really meaty event."