kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oh, man, I hope that's just a squished raisin on the floor of the men's room!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I've been put on suicide watch several times."

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 604 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

"She likes my green whacker."

"What does it do if you put it in your pocket?"



FORUM MODERATOR
To contact Customer Service, use the SUPPORT form at the top of every woot page
••• ► Woot's Return Policy ◄ ••• ► Did you check your spam/junk folders for a CS reply?
CANCEL?? How to cancel your order in the first 15 minutes!! - except orders with Woot-Off or expedited items

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"My face is burning up. I've got hot flashes to the face."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Did somebody just peel an orange?"

"Is that an euphemism?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"There's also a team whose mascot is a black panther. I'm just sayin', "black panther" means different things to different people, too..."

unangrybird


quality posts: 1 Private Messages unangrybird

I recall hearing the words "Back to work".

Raining


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Raining
unangrybird wrote:I recall hearing the words "Back to work".

Hearing the words "Back to work" is enough to make you not want to get up in the morning.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"So, do you like mushing it with your tongue?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's hard to beat Snyder's rods..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oh, you do it like my daughter. She stretches hers out really long."

unangrybird


quality posts: 1 Private Messages unangrybird
kenney9226 wrote:"Oh, you do it like my daughter. She stretches hers out really long."



Do I want to inquire where you work or what you do for a living?

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"What are we even doing here today? It's the day before the Fourth of July!"

novels22


quality posts: 0 Private Messages novels22
PemberDucky wrote:...or shopping mall, or gym, or truck stop parking lot. Wherever you spend your time, lotlizards.

I'd say that I hear something completely absurd here at work at least once a day. I've decided to start logging these nuggets, and I invite you to join, EBW. I've got three to get started:

1. "Yeah! They lactate stardust!"

2. "Well, maybe here, but I promise it's not that uncommon in Sweden and Germany."

3. Co-worker A: "How do you know so damn much about ostriches?"
Co-worker B: "Uh, hello?! I went to school!"



I was with my Mom, and three friends, in the parking lot of a Panera, when I was 5. We were walking to our car, when I heard a woman just yell "F**K!" like 8 times at another woman. This was a mentally scarring experience.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista

I'd do anything for you. Especially press two buttons.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 37 Private Messages Nitetigrezz

"What a way to start the morning. I can't believe I made such a mess."


Nitetigrezz Woot Sticker Trade Post ~ First ever Broncos on Cowboys ~ 7/11/2014 ~ 154.9/2000

clbraden78


quality posts: 0 Private Messages clbraden78

on the smoke porch of an oil rig:

Well, perhaps that wasnt the best idea after all. How many fingers did he lose?

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 37 Private Messages Nitetigrezz

Thanks to the company a friend of mine works for: "Cuming needs more release material."

As well as: "Well I invited all my Cuming friends..."


Nitetigrezz Woot Sticker Trade Post ~ First ever Broncos on Cowboys ~ 7/11/2014 ~ 154.9/2000

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 37 Private Messages Nitetigrezz

*headdesks*
"I never knew Link had such a long thick black rock."


Nitetigrezz Woot Sticker Trade Post ~ First ever Broncos on Cowboys ~ 7/11/2014 ~ 154.9/2000

zsinix


quality posts: 5 Private Messages zsinix

"Yeah, I do love playing with your ball." (referencing someone's balance ball)

PemberDucky wrote:...or shopping mall, or gym, or truck stop parking lot. Wherever you spend your time, lotlizards.

I'd say that I hear something completely absurd here at work at least once a day. I've decided to start logging these nuggets, and I invite you to join, EBW. I've got three to get started:

1. "Yeah! They lactate stardust!"

2. "Well, maybe here, but I promise it's not that uncommon in Sweden and Germany."

3. Co-worker A: "How do you know so damn much about ostriches?"
Co-worker B: "Uh, hello?! I went to school!"



Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 37 Private Messages Nitetigrezz
zsinix wrote:"Yeah, I do love playing with your ball." (referencing someone's balance ball)



It's always more fun when you don't mention context XD For example: "Hey! Not all over my skirt!"


Nitetigrezz Woot Sticker Trade Post ~ First ever Broncos on Cowboys ~ 7/11/2014 ~ 154.9/2000

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I had to wean myself from creamer."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Ooo, this is really hard. Come here and touch it."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Don't put a note on his door. I don't want people to come see me instead!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"They have better things to do, but apparently we're the ass they want to chew."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'm confident that this is where Kyle will make an ass out of himself."

Nitetigrezz


quality posts: 37 Private Messages Nitetigrezz
kenney9226 wrote:"They have better things to do, but apparently we're the ass they want to chew."



That's frighteningly catchy x.x

"Where's the std clinic?"


Nitetigrezz Woot Sticker Trade Post ~ First ever Broncos on Cowboys ~ 7/11/2014 ~ 154.9/2000

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"We gotta replace your whole rear end..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Can I just pop this in real quick?"

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

"You and your bubbles."

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

bestsportnascar


quality posts: 13 Private Messages bestsportnascar

Coworker was having trouble getting the coke machine to take a dollar. after a few times of it spitting it out. "Come on, take it in like the little b**** that you are."



kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Now you're a double hooker."

jqubed


quality posts: 7 Private Messages jqubed
bestsportnascar wrote:Coworker was having trouble getting the coke machine to take a dollar. after a few times of it spitting it out. "Come on, take it in like the little b**** that you are."



wow

ⅉℚ Seventh Annual Woot! Bracketology | I'm Quality Peoples!

Skye — 1997-2007

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's been a long time since we flew our monkeys..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I bought a live chicken for five bucks!"

moles1138


quality posts: 24 Private Messages moles1138

"That's a lot of pop"
A coworker responding to an EW article stating the size of a p0rn star's implants, when it was noted that they were 2 liters each.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I was just talking to myself."
"Not any more, because I am listening to you..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I laugh at people who don't know what their anachronisms are."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It was a really meaty event."

bestsportnascar


quality posts: 13 Private Messages bestsportnascar

#1: "It is one of those situations where everyone want's to give you advice about what they think you should do but it is no help. Like, telling someone in a falling elevator to jump, you are still going to die."

#2: "That's why everyone should always wear jet packs."