Wines are like people. A little oxygen, and they're at their best. Too much oxygen, and they blow up like a balloon and go flying through the air. Oh, what, you're too good for cartoons or something?
Look, rock candy is wonderful and all, but you're an adult now. You need an entirely different mountain to dream about.
Some people use rubs on their entree. You'll be able to use rubs on the ENTIRE FREAKIN' BANQUET.
No, I'm not spending the night alone. I'm spending it with the best friend a guy could ask for: Scott Harvey Barbera.
Believe me. The last thing you want to do is come between a 1,000-faced groggy mob and their caffeine.
DID YOU KNOW: Did you know that "ranch" doesn't rhyme with "blanc" unless you an a "he" to the end? See? Laughter really DOES change the world!
Depression. Anxiety. Pink eye. Inflated self-worth. Hemorrhoids. Rabies. You name it, bacon can cure it.
Metal snobs and wine snobs have a lot in common. They're both knowledgeable and both like stuff they'd never admit to in public. And both know one truth: if it ends in a vowel, it'll probably rock.
You can't just carry your wine to the annual Biker And Rock Star Picnic. You've got to have a leather box, or everyone would laugh!
This "Deep Purple" wine is perfect for a picnic near the water. Does anyone see smoke?
