Delivered in time for Valentine's Day! So please consider this your "It's Almost Valentine's Day" warning, you unprepared jerkface. PS: Everyone who already knew is cool, we're not making fun of you.
Remember last year, Captain Forgetful? When you came home to a crying wife, a disappointed husband, a glaring girlfriend, or a boyfriend holding a six-thousand dollar ring and wondering what HE would be getting? Remember how you felt, having absolutely nothing to give in order to cover your heartless, unfeeling, love-hating butt? Well, this year, we've got you covered.
Go over to the button- no, the button ABOVE -and click it. Tell us you want to buy this 3-Pack of White Flowers Sparkling Riesling. Yeah, it's good stuff, from a high elevation vineyard and with a clean, brisk finish. And it's not some boring run-of-the-mill bubbly, because this here wine has a Silver Medal from the 2009 Sommelier Challenge. That's right, it's an achiever wine. The wine that says "You matter, and I was very thoughtful!" Which is EXACTLY the image you want to be portraying when trying to lie about how your tooooootally remembered Valentine's Day, honest, the gift is just out in the car!
No, don't say you'll do it later in the day. Right now. RIGHT. NOW. CLICK THE BUTTON. CLICK IT. CLICKITCLICKITCLICKITCLICKIT. We're trying to save you this year, Sir or Madam. Trust us. Bubbles always mean "I love you."
Even when they really mean "Whew, I got away with it again."