DESPITE ALL MY RAGE
Well I hope you’re happy, Stephanie. Your cheesy little stunt just cost us months of research.
All those mazes, all those timed tests, all that data, ALL down the drain thanks to you and your bleeding heart. “But it’s the six month anniversary of the day they emerged from the cloning vats,” you said. “We should give them something special instead of the regular cheese, shouldn’t we?” Special? They’re mice, Stephanie, tiny little vermin destined to run race after race until they’re capable of finding a cheese-scented target every time, even with a laser mounted to their heads. Fresh cedar shavings in their cages are all they know of “special.” Or knew, rather, until you started passing out little nibbles of that two pound wedge of Vella Dry Monterey Jack Cheese, that is.
Just look at them! The plain old lab cheese doesn’t even cause a rise in their heart rates anymore! They just stand there looking up at us with those beady little eyes waiting for another chunk of that stuff. What do you think we should do, Steph? Shall we prepare them a little red or white wine before the test? Maybe some nice fruits and veggies? Perhaps the sweet nutty flavor of the cheese along with an antipasto plate will make them work more efficiently? Ugh.
And the worst part is we didn’t even get to install the tiny lasers on their heads and you KNOW how much we were all looking forward to that. Nice going, Steph. So much for progress, I guess.
Dry Monterey Jack Cheese
A true masterpiece of American cheese-making, and exclusive to us. Made similar to fresh Monterey Jack and further aged 7-10 months. Hard, pale yellow with a sweet nutty flavor. With an edible coating of soybean oil, cocoa and black pepper, you can use every bit of this cheese! It is great for grating, shredding, slicing, cooking and just plain eating.
Have it shredded on pasta, soup or salad. Take the rind and simmer into your soup or sauce – the pepper adds some spice. Dry Monterey Jack pairs well with both red and white wines, beer, sparkling wine and most fruits: apples, oranges, pears, grapes as well as tomatoes, crackers, french bread, antipasto, you name it.