Vella Cheese Co. Dry Jack Cheese

by wootbot

Food For Thought

The best part of Monterey Jack? It never pretends to be something it isn't. That's what makes it so versatile.

Oi, love, ye fancy a bit a th' ol 'alf dry, do ye? Well, ol' Jackie's go' a bi' a' ... okay, okay, CUT! I'm sorry, Ridley, I know I'm not supposed to say cut, but this just isn't working here. I'm not really the sort of cheese that can play Jack The Ripper. I'm a 2lb wedge of Monterey Jack and that's all I've ever wanted to be!

I know when you saw me working in that diner, your heart just sped up. I know you said my black pepper coating gave me "the spice" you needed for your new epic: Ripplicant Revenge, but I just can't be a standoffish monster. I'm the kind of cheese that goes with wine, and beer, and maybe some nice garden tomatoes! Not dark alleyways and foggy London nights!

I'm sorry, Ridley. If I don't get to make some script chances, I'll have to walk. What about adding a scene where I melt into a nice fondue? You know, to show my soft side? Or maybe I get mixed up in a lasagna with hilarious consequences as I learn the stereotypes about ricotta just aren't true? We could make it a comedy, and call it Romantplicant! Oh! Romantplicant Holiday! Wouldn't that be lovely?

Well, I guess you do have your vision. I hope you and Damon are very happy together. I'll go pick up my last day's check and head back to what I do best. That's right, Ridley. Being a cheese. I'm not ashamed of what I am.