Vampire Wine Red - 4 Pack

by Wootbot

The Surgeon General’s Warning says what?

Let me see that label.

Let’s see here, some stuff about sulfites, the usual pregnant lady warning, holy cow, you weren’t kidding: “contains the blood of undead ghouls. Consumption may result in your metamorphosis into a bloodsucking demon able to subsist only by draining the life essence of other living creatures.” How the hell did that get past the FDA?

Well maybe that’s just the 2007 Dracula Syrah. Look at the others. No, the 2007 Trueblood Pinot Noir has it. The 2008 Vampire Cabernet Sauvignon has the same warning, too. Ditto the 2009 Vampire Merlot. What is WRONG with these people? Gary, I am terribly sorry. I bought these thinking they’d be a neat conversation starter for your Halloween party; I had no idea this winery was actually staffed by and devoted to expanding the ranks of vampires.

I don’t know! I don’t know how this happens! Honestly, I was looking forward to some well-crafted wines with depth, well-suited to pairing with food or enjoying alone. Now I can’t even enjoy the dark fruit flavors without worrying I’ll somehow be contaminated with an undead plague and forced into an eternal life slaving to the insatiable thirst for blood.

I know, I know, I should’ve learned my lesson after last year’s “Zombie Zinfandel” escapade.

2009 Vampire Merlot:

  • Alcohol: 13.5%
  • TA: 4.9
  • pH: 3.85
  • Free S02: 30ppm
  • Total S02: 150ppm
  • R.S.  0.39%
  • Composition: 8% Zinfandel, 8% Cabernet Sauvignon, 84% Merlot

Strawberry and blueberry a medium bodied soft wine.

2008 Vampire Cabernet Sauvignon:  

  • Alcohol: 13.5%
  • TA: 6.2
  • pH: 3.8
  • Free S02: 30ppm
  • Total S02: 140ppm
  • R.S.:  .070%
Strong, jammy, bouchet of blackberries, raspberries and strawberries. Smooth in the mouth well balanced with a good acidity. Ripe tannins and a little bit spicy at the end.
2007 Trueblood Pinot Noir:  
  • 2007 reserve
  • 700 gallons
  • 294 cases
  • pH: 3.38
  • TA: .770
  • 14.4% ALC
  • RS: zero
  • Free SO2: 28

Rich and concentrated wine with blackberry, plum and dark cherry flavors.

2007 Dracula Syrah: 

  • TA: .735
  • pH: 3.77
  • VA: .057
  • ALC: 13.0%

This Syrah has black cherry and dark chocolate flavors that launch into an intense, dark, rich and flavorful wine. Its perfect balance of spices sets up a silky texture and balanced, jammy finish.

Rules and restrictions:

  • Wine sold by winery
  • You must be 21 or older to order
  • Whoever receives the package must be 21 or older
  • If you're drunk when the package shows up, you will not be allowed to receive it
  • Wine cannot be delivered to a P.O. Box
  • We highly recommend you use a business address as your shipping address

Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:

  • Arizona
  • California
  • Colorado
  • Connecticut
  • District Of Columbia
  • Florida
  • Illinois
  • Iowa
  • Louisiana
  • Michigan
  • Minnesota
  • Missouri
  • Nebraska
  • Nevada
  • New Hampshire
  • New Mexico
  • New York
  • North Carolina
  • Ohio
  • Oregon
  • South Carolina
  • Tennessee
  • Texas
  • Virginia
  • Washington
  • West Virginia
  • Wyoming

If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.