The Name Game
Used Automobile Parts wine: no actual auto parts included.
John, I got good news and I got bad news. The good news is the Used Automobile Parts have arrived. The bad news is, it’s not actually auto parts. It’s a bunch of vintage 2005 wine.
“What? Well, get 'em on the phone! They made a mistake!”
No, that’s just the thing. It was our mistake. The wine is called Used Automobile Parts.
“Why would someone name a wine that?”
They probably thought it was funny or something.
“Yeah, maybe for them, but not for us. We got an auto garage to run here, for crying out loud!”
What do you wanna do, John?
“I don’t know! I just don’t know!”
Okay, calm down. What do you say we open a bottle and ponder on a solution?
“Hm, that might not be such a bad idea…”
TWO HOURS LATER
“Aw jeez! How’d we let two entire hours go by?”
I guess we just got lost in the enticing aromas of intense cassis, black cherry, licorice, and integrated Tahitian vanilla.
“See, what did it for me was more the flavors of supple, ripe plum, boysenberry, blackberry, and sweet leather flavors, followed by notes of fresh tobacco, Belgian chocolate, and roasted coffee. But, oh no! Now we’re two hours behind on our work, and we have no parts!”
We better have some more wine and figure it out.
THREE HOURS LATER
“Wow! That sure is a nice long finish on this.”
Did you get the hints of subtle, sumptuous French Oak? Because I sure did.
“Wait, what time is it?”
Three in the afternoon.
“Ugh! It happened again! And we’ve come no closer to finding a solution to our predicament!”
Here, have some more wine, and this time, we’ll really put our heads down and figure this out.
FIVE HOURS LATER
Wow. This Used Automobile Parts stuff is great.
“Is the sun setting? Boy, we must have stayed late without even noticing.”
What a long, stressful day!
“Tell me about it!”
What do you say we have a glass of wine? You know, to wind down.
2005 Used Automobile Parts 3-Pack
- pH: 3.42
- TA: 0.69 mg/L
- Alcohol: 14.9 %
- Blend: 65% Cabernet Sauvignon, 14% Petite Verdot, 13% Malbec, 5% Merlot and 3% Cabernet Franc.
- Appellation: 100% Napa Valley
- Case Production: 1550 cases packaged in six-bottle packs (775 case equivalents)
Rules and restrictions:
- Wine sold by winery
- You must be 21 or older to order
- Whoever receives the package must be 21 or older
- If you're drunk when the package shows up, you will not be allowed to receive it
- Wine cannot be delivered to a P.O. Box
- We highly recommend you use a business address as your shipping address
Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:
- New Hampshire
- New Mexico
- New York
- North Dakota
- South Carolina
- West Virginia
If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at ShipCompliantBlog.com, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through FreeTheGrapes.org. Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.