Because you're gonna seem cultured if it's the last thing you do!
This wine is named "River Of Skulls" and you don't already own it? How can you even hold your head up as you walk down the street?
Look at you all standing over there with that group of International Business doctoral students all nodding like you know exactly what they mean when they say that China is devaluing their currency. But you know what? It totally doesn't matter. You just keep smiling and swirling your glass of Chard or Pinot or whatever else you ended up buying from this Woot-Off while interjecting the occasional remark about tannins and flavor notes and whatnot. No one will even notice you're completely out of your element when it comes to the economic strategies of foreign powers.