Twisted Oak Mixed White (6)

by wootbot

A Woot Classic Moment

We’re having so much fun being lazy reading these old write-ups that we’ve decided to share them with you through the end of our 10th birthday month! Check out this refurb- uh, classic.

Let's Get it Started: January 27, 2007:

There’s never a good time for your car battery to run dry of go-juice. You’ll wear out your fancy alligator shoes hoofin’ it to the nearest auto garage. You’ll succumb to hypothermia on the side of a remote mountain roadway. Or you’ll end up staying an extra night with your in-laws over Thanksgiving. Any way you carve this pumpkin, it ain’t pretty.

Lucky for you, you’re a wooter. You belong to a unique nationwide siblinghood whose motto is "Be Prepared—Wait, Isn’t That Motto Taken?" And while the prospect of an overnight stay in the parking lot isn’t attractive, your Vector Start-It 450 Amp Jump Start System sure is. With its sleek construction and convenient topside handle, it might pass for a stylish ladies’ pocketbook, but don’t try to fish around inside it for gum; you’ll almost certainly be electrocuted to death.

This juice box rides alongside you on your front passenger-side seat where a less self-reliant motorist might keep his human companion or other impractical accessory. It sits just as stoic as you, fairly radiating quiet strength. No matter what’s around the next bend, the two of you will handle it. And after the danger has passed, when you’re safely back in civilization, Vector won’t tell anyone about that moment when you got a little panicky and nearly cried. It was a fleeting instant of uncharacteristic weakness, and Vector knows that. Vector also knows that on subjects such as these, there’s no higher virtue than reticence.

The Vector Start-It looks at your cashed-out car battery like J-Dog looked at Lazarus. Its standing orders are DNR…N! ("Do Not Recusitate… NOT!) Its manufacturers claim it’s "great for cars, trucks, SUVs, boats, motorcycles, jet skis, airplanes, RVs, garden tractors, gas powered generators, tractors, or snowmobiles." So if you buy it for your moped or helicopter and it doesn’t work, that’s on you.