We're still waiting, SCIENCE.
The Tale of Vemima TruffleDuck.
Vemima TruffleDuck was created in a lab by a group of Scottish scientists. Ever since she burst from her Petri dish, Vemima wanted to lay and hatch TruffleDuck eggs of her very own. Unfortunately, the scientists constantly snatched away Vemima's earthy, buttery eggs.
"They're delicious," the scientists rightly reasoned.
But Vemima was undaunted. Genetic monstrosity though she was, she was determined to hatch some little TruffleDucks.
Early one morning, Vemima escaped from the laboratory and stumbled upon a charismatic stranger named Dr. Fox. Vemima noticed that Dr. Fox was incredibly generous and accommodating - almost to a sinister extent. But because she was merely a mutated fungus-fowl hybrid, Vemima TruffleDuck lacked the ability to look at situations objectively. It's not difficult to imagine, then, that Vemima nearly fell victim to Dr. Fox, who was preparing to eat Vemima TruffleDuck with some roasted potatoes. Fortunately, Vemima's scientist handlers got to Dr. Fox's residence just in time!
"You're just in time!" Exclaimed Dr. Fox when the scientists arrived. And then they ate Vemima TruffleDuck without a shred of remorse.
Someday science will give us the TruffleDuck. In the meantime, there's this stuff.