You Gotta Have Standards
This wine is fleshy like steak tar tar, much like your shipmate who you were forced to eat in order to stay alive after a series of very unfortunate events that left you stranded on a deserted island.
There are only three kinds of wine you will never see in a Wine.Woot-Off: fortified wine, pruno, and the kind in a box with a nozzle. Beyond that, anything can happen. (And if you know a good pruno guy, we wouldn't mind having his number. Just in case or whatever.)