Buy wine! Save wine glasses!
Okay, I highly DOUBT that YOU read the Constitution as often as I DO, so I just wanted to let you know about a little tidbit hidden in there. 32nd Amendment states, "All wine glasses that do not carry wine for a period exceeding 97 days can no longer be referred to as 'wine glasses' but instead must be called 'krgjuuntzip.'"
How is that pronounced? NOBODY KNOWS! See, that's the point: it's a use 'em or lose 'em sorta thing. Don't wanna drink wine? Then you won't be able to vocalize the vessels whose intention was to hold wine. A little trick played on us by our founding fathers to keep us happy and drinking! THANKS, GEORGE WASHINGTON!
But hey, I didn't come here to talk history. I came here to WARN YOU about the DANGERS of leaving wine glasses UN-WINED. So, if it's getting towards 97 days, it's time to STOCK UP or STOCK OUT!
And what better wine to use than some of this Swami Pinot Noir? It's FRUIT-FORWARD and APPROACHABLE, with a perfume of SANDALWOOD, CHAI SPICE, and TOFFEE that leads to fleshy PLUM and BLACK CHERRY on the CREAMY PALATE! Just how Ben Franklin would have WANTED IT!