Talk to your kids about the dangers of [INSERT DANGER HERE].
"Hi Susan, thanks for coming by. Can I get you some tea?"
"Sure. Are we going to clutch them between our hands and have a sincere middle-aged woman conversation?"
"We sure are. Do you take honey?"
"No thanks. And herbal tea, please. It's after noon."
"Here you go. I wanted to ask you if you're talked to your kids yet about Salexisting."
"Salexisting. Don't tell me you haven't heard the news stories?"
"I haven't! What is it?"
"It's when you share pictures of buttery chardonnays with each other on the picture texts."
"Pictures of wine?"
"That's right! And not just any wine, but balanced, toasty whites."
"I don't understand. Who's the victim?"
"The children! You must talk to them about the dangers of Salexisting, Susan"
"I feel like that would just give them idea to do something they would otherwise never think of."
"WELL! You are entitled to your opinion, of course, but we'll see how our kids turn out."
"Yes we will."
FAST FORWARD 20 YEARS
"Well, none of those parenting strategies really mattered, given the global economic, social, and monetary collapse of 2019."
"If you please."