Check out a bottle of wine
Not all libraries are created equal. Some libraries are created out of wine, and are thus far superior.
Ah welcome, come in, come in. I’m so glad you could make it.. Why don’t we step into my library.
I see that you’re appreciating my collection. It took me some time to acquire all of these volumes, but it was worth it. From your perplexed stare, I can tell that you’re surprised by the lack of books. Well, not all libraries are filled with the written word. No, mine is a library of the viticultural variety. While some collect books, I myself prefer to collect bottles of fine wine.
Yes, go ahead, feel free to peruse my collection. Oh, you’ve already finished? Ah, well that would be because my library consists of precisely four bottles. They’re Grandmere Zinfandels from Amador County. Two 2002s, and two 2004s.
What? Of course four bottles a library does make! Must something being of a humbler size imply that it is somehow insufficient? Don’t be daft. And no, I don’t wish to expand my library. It’s perfect as it- excuse me? You want to DRINK my library? Get out. Just get out.