Greystoke the Fires
As Lord of Jungle, me disappointed wolves get head start on winemaking.
Wolf not make simple tools. Wolf not able to build tree house as nice as mine! Wolf not even have thumbs! How they grow grapes and make Malbec so delicious, me not know. Hurt head and heart to think about.
That why me call you apes here today. Apes missing out on big profit opportunity. Market wide open for wine made by hu-man mothered by animal. Me and apes need put heads together, make good wine like 2010 Columbia Valley Malbec.
Here. Me bring some for all apes to drink. No, Lomo, you not pour on fur. Wine stain fur rich purple color, not good color for you. Smell first. Smell like blueberry, plum, tobacco and allspice. Jojo! You not get mad at glass! You one who try to drink wine through nose!
Now put it mouth. NOT WHOLE GLASS, JUST WINE. Good. Taste nice, like luscious Marion berry, raspberry, cedar and dried thyme. Smooth like fur of tiger, vibrant like feathers of toucan! We make this! We get in on cash wolves raking in. We get rich, buy nice tree house for all apes!
No, Chee-chee, you not have more. You horrible drunk.