Quaffmor Sauvignon Blanc (5)

by wootbot

Quaff The Hook

Vikings quaff. That's our marketing angle. 

OK folks, listen up. We've identified a huge demographic target for our wines: The Norse. Turns out that Vikings drink more wine per capita than any other pillaging barbaric group, and the earlier we can grab market share in Scandinavia the better. These dark ages ain't gonna last forever, folks.

Now here's the thing: Turns out Vikings don't like to "drink" wine, they like to "quaff" it. Specifically, male Vikings between the ages of 21-36 most often consume wine while gathered around a long wooden table for a feast, during which they request succor from their gods in their upcoming raids, pound the table manfully, and quaff a flagon of wine. In 90% of such cases, the Viking will then wipe his beard with the back of his hand and call for more.

So we need a marketing campaign that speaks to these needs. "Wine is quaffable" is the message we want to send. Maybe we could work it into the name? "QuaffWine" could work. Or maybe "QuaffIt!"? "Quaffmor," you say? Yes, that's the one. Consider it green-lit.

Does anybody at this table know any Vikings personally? If we're going to exploit this group's preferences to drive purchasing decisions, we're going to need to come up with some ads that make it seem like we're part of "their" group. I'm talking about sincerity, people. Might've heard of it?