Private Preserve Wine Preserver (4)

by wootbot

Thanks, Science!

It's almost exactly like capturing time in a bottle. We're certain Professor Brian Cox would agree.

“Yes, this is customer service. How can I help you today?”

“Hello, I’d like to make a complaint about my Private Preserve Wine Preserver.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the trouble?”

“I used it precisely as directed during my New Year’s Eve party some months ago, and when I reopened the wine, all I had was a great glass that tasted as amazing as the first glass.”

“That’s … well, that’s sort of what we strive for, actually.”

“Are you kidding? Just a perfectly-preserved glass of wine? What a bunch of hooey.”

“Well, do you mind my asking what you were expecting?”

“Uh, DUH. I wanted NYE all over again.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I expected the preservation technology to be so sophisticated that not only would I pour another great glass of wine - I’d get to relive NYE once more. It was a really good party. Well, what I remember, anyway.”

“Hmm. I think I can see where things fell through, here. You see, as yet, I don’t think anyone has perfected - or really even discovered - the science required to accomplish what you’ve described.”

“Well, I have to say, I am very disappointed.”

“I can see how it would be disappointing, yes. However, the wine was still as good as ever, correct?”

“Well, yes, that bit was excellent, but I really had hoped to play the piano with a novelty horse mask on my head the way I did that night.”

“I’m sure it was a wonderful party.”

“It’s just as well that the preserver doesn’t capture time itself, I suppose. I wasn’t ready to relive the following morning.”

“We’ll drink a cup of kindness yet.”