Naked Winery Oregon Whites
Delivering The Foursome
Well, well, well. Looks like my first “wild party” is gonna be a total success.
Hey, who’s that over by the door? That’s right, you little tease. I’ve heard all you Oregon types are like that. You’re a real peach, aren’t you? And hey, what’s this? Are you two naked in the hallway? Aww, yeah, this party’s heating up! Maybe I can head back to the bedroom for a little foreplay and… oh… um, hi, roomie. Awk-ward.
No, I know we made a deal that if one of us threw a party the other one would be invited but… nobody showed up. I was just talking to my Naked Wines Oregon Whites four pack to make myself feel better.
Like, over by the door? That’s the 2009 Tease Riesling. It’s got flavors of pineapple and ripe peach with a light citrus finish. And in the hallway I put the two bottles of Naked Winery Pinot Gris. More peach and apricot on the nose with a blast of lime citrus before the finish. And that 2009 Foreplay Chardonnay in the bedroom… well, I mean, where would you put a wine with a name like Foreplay? And anyway, I figured that a mix of pear and green apple over a long smoky finish would really give me an excuse to slip away from the crowd with somebody special… if anybody special had shown up.
But hey, we don’t have to tell people any of the context, right? Just say I was having Foreplay with some Tease and you were getting lucky with a pair of Naked twins. It’s technically correct, right? Right?
See, that attitude is why I didn’t invite you to my “wild party” in the first place.
- Appellation: Rogue Valley, Oregon
- Alcohol: 14.5%
-
pH: 3.24
-
TA: .69g/100ml
- Barrel Regime 100% Stainless, aged 7 mos.
- Blend: 100% Pinot Gris
- Cases Produced: > 500
- Release Date: March 2011
- Appellation: Oregon
- Alcohol: 12%
-
pH: 2.94
-
TA: .82g/100ml
- Barrel Regime 100% Stainless, cool fermentation
- Blend: 100% Riesling
- Cases Produced: >500
- Residual Sugar: 1.50%
- Release Date: April, 2011
- Label No: 016
- Appellation: Rogue Valley, Oregon
- Alcohol: 13%
-
pH: 3.42
-
TA: .66g/100ml
- Barrel Regime: Blend of Stainless and Mostly Neutral French Oak
- Blend: 100% Chardonnay
- Cases Produced: >500
- Release Date: September, 2011
Rules and restrictions:
- Wine sold by winery
- You must be 21 or older to order
- Whoever receives the package must be 21 or older
- If you're drunk when the package shows up, you will not be allowed to receive it
- Wine cannot be delivered to a P.O. Box
- We highly recommend you use a business address as your shipping address
Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:
- Arizona
- California
- Colorado
- District Of Columbia
- Florida
- Georgia
- Idaho
- Illinois
- Iowa
- Kansas
- Louisiana
- Maine
- Maryland
- Michigan
- Minnesota
- Missouri
- Nebraska
- Nevada
- New Hampshire
- New Mexico
- New York
- North Carolina
- North Dakota
- Ohio
- Oregon
- Tennessee
- Texas
- Vermont
- Virginia
- Washington
- Wisconsin
- Wyoming
If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at ShipCompliantBlog.com, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through FreeTheGrapes.org. Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.