The Martian Hop
What do you mean "Is that Martian Ranch Wine a white?" What kinda dadblamed fool thinks a Martian would be anything but red? Or maybe green, we'll give you that one.Martian Ranch, people. MARTIAN. The god of war, Jeff Wayne's career, and RED WINE.
Let's be honest here, we aren't going to be sending billions of dollars into space just to collect soil samples. What we're really doing is finding new directions to take our wine. Get it? The powerful rich wouldn't care about science, but if they find caviar on Venus, we'd have a space base in a MONTH.
And that's maybe why Martian Ranch, which existing on Earth, makes this mysteriously tasty red wine. Some say they make it themselves, from the very best grapes they can find. Others say Martian Ranch exists over a wormhole that allows for a person to appear at the base of a black marble horse thanks to the Philadelphia Experiment holding open a gateway across time and space. Who can say for sure which one of these is the more scientific answer? All we know is this: where Mars is concerned, things get strange ... and delicious.
Order your dual three-pack now. You never know when THEY might step in and take down this sale ... because it knows too much.