JanKris Estate Mixed Red Case

by Wootbot

The Red Wine Caper

Don’t worry, Commissioner. We’ll get this guy. I’ve got two of my best men on the case.

Daniels! Jameson! In my office NOW!

What’s going on with you two, huh? I’ve had you both on the McGillicuddy murder for two weeks now and what have you got for me? Nothing, that’s what. Not a suspect, not a clue, not one single solitary piece of evidence that points us in the direction of the killer except for that JanKris Estate Mixed Red Case you found at the scene.

So was our killer a winemaker? Maybe he was a wine dealer? Are you… are you two giggling? Listen, you two had better come up with something around those twelve bottles, boys. The mayor’s been breathing down my neck hard over this thing, and if you two can’t find something we can use, heads are gonna roll.

Now then, there’s three bottles each of four different types, right? Well let’s look at your notes for the JanKris 2006 Cabernet Sauvignon. “Deep bouquet of black currant, anise and oak toast. Complex and well-rounded, featuring chewy blackberry and cherry flavors and supple tannins.” No help there, I guess.

How about the JanKris 2005 Riata? Your notes say the wine has clean notes of spice, licorice and cedar, but I don’t see anything about a suspect or motive! Is this “fruit forward style and complex finesse” some kind of code you two use? Sounds like one of those fancy wine tastings my wife is always tryin’ to get me to go to.

Seriously, you guys are killin’ me here. While I can appreciate that the JanKris 2005 CROSSFIRE is “beautifully balanced and complex” as you’ve put it here, Jameson, I don’t see how “the roundness of Merlot and the structure of Cabernet Sauvignon” is something I can go to Mrs. McGillicuddy with to ease her pain and suffering! You had better hope there’s something useful on this next page, gentlemen.

���JanKris 2005 Picaro: Would probably go well with Margie’s chicken or rich pasta dishes. Bright and peppery with a smooth finish and supple complexity…” I’m speechless, fellas. Speechless. Fifteen years on the force and this is the first time I have been without words. It’s been two weeks and instead of a description of a suspect, you’ve given me wine notes. What have you got to say for yourselves?

Wait a second. Are your teeth stained, Jameson?! You too, Daniels?! Your badges and guns, hand them over now. You two are done, you understand me? Done!

JanKris 2006 Cabernet Sauvignon
 
  • Varietal: 100% Cabernet Sauvignon
  • Harvest: Hand picked, September
  • Fermentation: 16 months, American & French Oak
  • Alcohol: 13.6%
  • pH: 3.69
  • TA: 5.10g/L
  • Bottle Date: November 15, 2008
  • Production: 3000 cases

A deep bouquet of black currant, anise and oak  toast. Chewy flavors of blackberry and cherry finish with ripe, supple tannins. This beautiful Cabernet Sauvignon offers an amazing and complex array of black currants, soft berries and lush ripe cherries, resulting in a magnificently well rounded wine, perfect to pair with succulent steaks, spicy sausages and sharp cheddar cheese.

JanKris 2005 Riata
 
  • Blend:50% Sangiovese 25% Cabernet Sauvignon 25% Zinfandel
  • Harvest: Hand picked, October
  • Fermentation: 16 months, American & French Oak
  • Alcohol: 12.6%
  • pH: 3.430
  • TA: 7.88 g/L
  • Bottle Date: October 21, 2008
  • Production: 1600 cases
With a rich bouquet of rose and cherry, clean notes of sweet spices, licorice and cedar, Riatta’s  excellent fruit forward style and complex finesse, pairs perfectly with pasta primavera spinach lasagna and other light Italian fare.
 
JanKris 2005 Picaro
 
  • Blend:50% Zinfandel 25% Cabernet Sauvignon 25% Merlot
  • Harvest: Hand picked, September
  • Fermentation: 16 moths, American & French Oak
  • Alcohol: 14.0%
  • pH: 3.470
  • TA: 8.62 g/L
  • Bottle Date: October 15, 2008
  • Production: 2100 cases
Marrying the bright and peppery Zinfandel with the smooth finish and supple complexities of Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot, Picaro is a uniquely harmonious wine, pairing perfectly chicken, pork loin and rich pasta dishes.
 
JanKris 2005 Crossfire
 
  • Blend:50% Cabernet Sauvignon 25% Syrah 25% Merlot
  • Harvest: Hand picked, September Fermentation: 16 months, American & French Oak
  • Alcohol: 14.5%
  • pH: 3.51
  • TA: 6.0 g/L
  • Bottle Date: October 15, 2008
  • Production: 900 cases
A signature blend that that unites the structure of Cabernet Sauvignon, the roundness of Merlot and the brightness of Syrah, resulting in a beautifully balanced and complex wine.
 

Rules and restrictions:

Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:

If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at ShipCompliantBlog.com, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through FreeTheGrapes.org. Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.