Nuts are Nice, Gourmet is Gbetter.
These ain't your dad's nuts (unless your dad's into high quality, gourmet nuts).
The creatively-named Gourmet Nut line of gourmet nuts is truly exceptional. Whether you're snacking on the Antioxidant, Protein, or Feel Good mix, you know you're putting the highest quality nuts in your mouth. Be thankful you don't have to deal with a lesser, non-gourmet variety of nut. Nuts such as:
Luxury Nuts - Often confused with gourmet nuts, luxury nuts use the same ingredients as gourmet nuts, but also include soft suede chunks and velour shavings.
Counterfeit Nuts - Also known as "near nuts," these are actually other dried legumes such as peas or lentils that have been painted brown.
Pre-Owed Nuts - Sure, you save a bit of money, but there's no way of knowing what the previous owner did with them. And FORGET about getting a good warranty.
Brazil Nuts - Brazil nuts are just the worst. The only reason you'd buy Brazil nuts is if you're filled with self-loathing, or want to give someone the worst, most hateful present imaginable. Brazil nuts are a cancer on the planet and should be eradicated as soon as possible.
Deeez Nuts - The nuts that are here.
Grape Nuts - You Open It Up, No Grapes, No Nuts! WHAT'S the Deal?