Go ahead. Just dab a little behind the ears.
"Ahhh. Pinot Noir. The fragrance of choice for 12-year-old boys circa 1992."
I'm pretty sure you mean "Drakkar Noir" the cologne. Pinot Noir is a wine. Like this 2007 Eastburn Vineyards Estate with racy tannins and lovely notes of plum.
"Well whatever it was, it singed the nostrils. Smelled like a mixture of wet dog and hamster shavings."
"You're telling me. I had a perpetual headache all through 6th grade."
No, I'm talking about this other Pinot Noir. The 2007 Eastburn Vineyards Single Block. Full-bodied with raspberry and cherry notes on the nose.
"That sounds a lot more pleasant than Eau du Sharpei."
"But what do you make of this Dijon 114 cologne? I've never understood why anyone would want to smell like mustard."
No, see. You mean the Dijon 114 CLONE. It's a type of grape used in this wine. There was a special solo selection for this particular vintage.
"Oh! I thought maybe it was a designer imposter of Chanel No. 5 or something."
You don't get out much, do you?
"No. Not really."