Dracula's Blood Case (12)

by wootbot

Drac Pack

Check your neck... because it might have bites on it.

The hardest part about Halloween is the clash of vampire cultures. On one side, you've got the aging goths who wear lace and sing Concrete Blonde songs. On the other, you've got the youngsters who sort their monsters by "teams" and write erotic fan fiction. And caught in the middle? A classic movie monster who just doesn't seem to matter any more.

So take heart, Dracula purists: now you've got a way to be on Team Traditional. With the Dracula's Blood Case 12 Pack, you'll be enjoying twelve bottles of wine in a way that shows you're the grandest alpha predator of them all.

Take a look at the 2010 Pinot Noir. The hint of wild strawberries will remind an aristocrat of his gentle youth... but some New Orleans poseur? They wouldn't know Wild Strawberries if David Bowie ripped it off for a concept video! They'd never dare admit to enjoying Belgian milk chocolate and venison as they LARP around the warehouse just outside of town. This is a wine for the grown-up vampire indeed.

And what about the 2010 Merlot? One might think it's much older than the Edward lovers. Those poor souls have a few years to go before they could even touch the subtle shadings of vanilla and toast, and they might not even be as well aged as the oaken barrels from which this wine was born. All pop culture, no respect for tradition.

This Halloween season, get out the cloak, sharpen up the fangs, and take back the name "vampire" for what it always was... a stylishly camp aristocrat! And then, while you're at it, maybe do something about dubstep? That's not at all what Kraftwerk intended, you know. Show some respect, kiddies.