DeLoach Designate Pinot Noir 2-Pack

by wootbot

Little vineyards, on a hillside / Little vineyards, made of ticky tacky…

Previously, on HBO's hit show "Vines."

IMPOSSIBLY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WINEMAKER
I'm in a real bind of my own making through a series of terrible decisions with little to no regard or forethought for potential consequences! Obviously the only possible option is to do something illicit!

RANDOM DUDE WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO HAVE HIGH-ECHELON CRIMINAL CONNECTIONS
Despite demonstrating no real experience or practical knowledge, I trust you implicitly. Let's go into business!

IMPOSSIBLY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WINEMAKER
I have an impossibly complicated scheme to make some money without working that will actually be 10,000 times harder than just getting a job!

GOOFY BROTHER-IN-LAW
I know you've repeatedly ruined my life through your constant failures, but I feel the need to help out! We can easily make a wine as delicious as a DeLoach Designate Pinot Noir 2-Pack!

BUMBLING IDIOT FRIEND
I'll help too, but not really. I'll just make low-brow jokes about getting drunk and having sex.

IMPOSSIBLY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WINEMAKER
Oh no! How could I have foreseen this complication!

RANDOM DUDE WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO HAVE HIGH-ECHELON CRIMINAL CONNECTIONS
I am furious and since I'm so menacing, I'll kill you. Or I would, if you weren't so beautiful. Let's have sex!

CHILDREN OF INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN
Could someone call Child Protective Services, please?