De Longs Wine Grape Varietal Table

by Wootbot

“I had a nice time, but I really don’t think I’m ready for a commitment -”

“Did anyone ever tell you that your eyes are the color of a vintage Marzemino?”

“Ravish me, you fool!”

Everyone loves a wine expert – but getting there takes years of careful study and thousands of dollars in travel costs! Take the shortcut to wine wisdom with DeLong’s Wine Grape Varietal Table!

“And in closing, the witness could not have seen my client on the scene carrying a bottle of Refosco white wine, because Refosco is a red wine. He was actually carrying a bottle of Auxerrois.”

“Jury, how do you find?”

“Not guilty on all counts!”

Facts, factoids, and tasting notes for 184 of the world’s favorite grapes – all almost literally on the tip of your tongue! When it comes to information, there’s no easier or more convenient way to learn it than by studying an unwieldy wall chart! And there’s no better way to get instant status in your social circle than by dropping obscure wine facts!

“And I say I’m the leader of this gang. Whaddya got to say about that, Shiv?”

“Ah, your momma drinks Rkatseteli from my jockstrap.”

“Shiv’s our new leader! Shiv, Shiv, Shiv! Shiv, Shiv, Shiv!”

In mere seconds, DeLong’s Wine Grape Varietal Table turns your home or office into a home or office with a wine chart on the wall! This instant wine education and the accompanying index booklet can be yours for one simple payment! Don’t wait another minute to change your life for the better, the DeLong’s Wine Grape Varietal Table way!

“I hate to do this, Tom, but the economy’s terrible and we just can’t afford to keep so many people on staff right now.”

“That’s OK. I guess I’ll go drown my sorrows with a bottle of Sagrantino.”

“Sagrantino, did you say? Forgot all that layoff talk. Take my job, instead. You deserve it more than I do.”

“Thanks, DeLong’s Wine Grape Varietal Table!”

Rules and restrictions:

Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:

If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at ShipCompliantBlog.com, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through FreeTheGrapes.org. Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.