Wine Wine Wine
You could just buy your girlfriend the cheap dime-store knock-off candies instead. It's not like she'll even know the difference. OR WILL SHE? Better not risk it.
How is our site here today like our significant other? Because every time you turn around it's wine, wine, wine! Ha ha! Isn't that great! Oh, hang on, someone's passing us a note... well, it looks like we're single again. Guess that's just one of those sacrifices one has to make in the name of comedy from time to time.
Say, if you're not doing anything later, do you want to split a couple bottles of- oh, right, you already read our joke up there. Sure. We understand.
You don't happen to have any friends looking for a date, do you? Hey, come back! WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND COMEDY???