Copa Del Rey 2009 Chilean Chardonnay

by wootbot

No, really. Think about it.

Is it just us, or does “Chilean Chardonnay” sound like a euphemism of some kind?

We’ll be the first to admit we’re not experts on the matter, but we watch a lot of TV. So we’ve got a passing familiarity with some of the more colorful language of crime families, and we’ve got to say a Copa del Rey 2009 Rapel Valley Chilean Chardonnay 6-Pack sounds like one of ‘em.

Okay, maybe not the whole thing. But “Chilean Chardonnay” sure does.

You know, like “Colombian Neck Tie” or “Sleeping With the Fishes” or “Szechuan Handshake.” Okay, we made that last one up because we had a hard time thinking of others, but the point stands. Picture some swarthy fellow in a suit talking to you in a very calm-yet-menacing way about a friend of yours who’s met an unfortunate end. He smiles knowingly, gives you a subtle wink, and says “Looks like he had himself a glass of Chilean Chardonnay.”

Would you think he was talking about a crisp, clean wine with tropical aromas of pineapple and guava and flavors of oak and full, fresh fruit? Or would you think he was talking about something involving piano wire?